"blue eyes" has stolen our hearts

So we were completely licensed to be foster/adopt parents on April 10Th 2010. I was ecstatic and was ready for a placement that second. No calls came. After 3 days I called my licensor to check in. Surely, there must have been a mix up and there were 10 kids waiting to be placed with us. There wasn't. And I furthered my licensor's suspicion of my insanity. Then I called the placement coordinator. Se said we'd be hearing from her soon. My hopes were soaring! Fast forward 3 weeks, and still no call. I'm going crazy! My phone is glued to my body, ringer on highest of the high and vibrate. Just in case my ears fail me, ya know.
So I'm laying in bed one morning. And I hear my phone. It's an unavailable number, could this be it???? It was homefinders! But it was for respite (short term). I was crushed :( I even asked how often respite kiddos become full placements. She said almost never. Crushed again. I reluctantly said yes to take her for the weekend with the hopes of getting our name out there and getting a full placement. On the plus side, she is 5 months old so I get to love on a baby all weekend!
She arrives and I just fall in love with her eyes. Big, bright, blue. Then she smiled....oh my heart melted. While I was talking with her foster mom she explained some things and said that she may not be adopting her. They adore her though, and it shows through. My heart about lept out of my chest, but I acted cool. We talked about seeing how the weekend went with her and then maybe seeing if she could become our full placement then on to adoption. *PAUSE* I'm pretty sure this was an out of body experience at this moment. Was this our chance? Did this ever really happen? Could this little doll of a baby be our baby at some point? ACK! *PLAY* Still acting cool. I want this to work out so badly. Foster mom leaves and I sit with baby on my lap and wait for Randy to get home. Randall and Abigail meet her. We read a few books and talk a bit. Randy walks in the door and I tell him the story. He is so easy going about it. I want to jump up and down and he is so calm. So I stay cool. (see this pattern?) We went about our evening, adding baby into our routine. Everything went off without a hitch. It was easy to see her be a part of our family. I must say, I was bonded at the moment I layed her down to bed. This needed to be her crib, in our house. We needed to be her family. Gotta be cool though, can't be the crazy wife.
That night was a long one. Baby was a bit sick, so she was up a lot. I was back on baby duty and running off full adrenaline. I was on cloud nine! I am crazy aren't I?
*FAST FORWARD* 2 days later she is adored by everyone in our family. She is the easiest baby and we fully intend to keep this little angel. After talking to foster mom a TON we both decided that first thing Monday morning we would talk to baby's caseworker.
So here we are. I am sitting writing a few words the night before we find out if we get to keep baby. There is, of course, no guarantee that if we get to keep her as a placement that we would get to adopt her. That is our plan. But the foster care system sometimes doesn't end up the way you think it will. We are scared and excited at the same time. We have fallen in love with this little gem in just a few short days. It just all seems too good to be true. Well in 10 hours we should know.....tune in!