A new life, a new love and a dash of empathy.

After 7 long months of waiting for our daughter to be born, she has finally arrived. 7 pounds 5 ounces of pure, beautiful, sweet little girl. I may not have given birth to her but I have been to every appointment, every ultrasound. I have worried about her every second because I was not the one carrying her and making good choices to ensure her health. Did that make it harder than my two pregnancies? HELL YES. That little girl was on my mind constantly. Through these 7 months I got to know Morgan and Lillian's birth mother on a whole new level. I learned things about her that were good to know, and some that weren't. I didn't have a choice in what she did during her pregnancy and that, I think, was the hardest part. She has her own set of problems and learning this about her makes it easier for us to see problems in the future, should they arise. I have had a very hard time feeling empathy for the life she has. Part of the reason she has a hard life could very easily be from the awful childhood she had. Although I have met many people that have turned a terrible childhood into a positive adulthood. I'm not sure I can say that during the entire pregnancy that I ever actually felt sorry for her. She has lost multiple children in what seemed like an easy case to get them back. She gave up on herself and let them go. In my mind that would never be an option for most mothers. If you truly believe you are a fit parent, PROVE it. Listening to her stories I could tell she wanted me to feel sorry for her, but I didn't. Not one bit. But the day she was giving birth that all changed. She was laying there, in pain, crying. I remembered my two labors and births of Randall and Abigail. At that point in the labor I was defeated, exhausted and ready to give up. But the one thing that gave me strength was that I was getting an awesome gift out of it, a baby! I wondered what T was feeling at that point. She knew that baby was going to another family, she wouldn't get to be her mother. She must have felt the unltimate defeat. It broke my heart as I held her hand through contractions. I cried for her while she cried. My first real feeling of love for the Mother of my chilren. After her birth she went through all the emotions you can think of. When she was preparing to leave the hospital, without her child she came to me and hugged me. I have never recieved a hug from her. She thanked me for everything I had done for her through the pregnancy and she thanked me for staying with her through labor, delivery and recovery. According to her, she has never had someone do that for her. 6 babies and no one ever supported her. What a slap in the face for me. I've had all the support I could ever need in my life. Family and friends would drop just about anything to help us out, and in her most vulnerable time, she had no one. I hugged her back and told her that she did an amazing job and I was happy to be there. I had been worried about how I would handle that goodbye. I thought taking someone's baby and sending them on their way was just so harsh. She made it easy. I am thankful for this. So now we have this beautiful baby girl coming home to us. A little girl we prayed daily, even hourly for. She is healthy, thriving and all of that because her birthmother chose to make good choices during her pregnancy. What a long journey for both T and I; two people from completely different worlds coming together for the greater good of a single little human being. It was hard, frustrating and exhausting. But in the end I have found empathy for a woman that will be in our lives forever. God is good, always.